I was texting with the Viking earlier while he was helping his Tina fix stuff. (Yes, the Viking can fix things, AND he promised to teach me to weld. Score!) I told him he was good people and being good people was highly undervalued now.
[Okay, I'm going to pause here for a second to explain somethings. The kind folks at Rock the Slut Vote linked Thursday's blog and I got a lot of extra traffic. I am going to assume some might come back. That first bit was full of wonderful things that make no sense to normal people. I will explain. Pay attention. The Viking is my boyfriend (we haven't official decided we are technically a couple, but I've decided it anyway), and he got this nickname from my friend Kathleen because he is 6'5 and blonde. He can also grow one of the most epic beards in the history of beards. Tina is my best friend. She has been a part of my life for many many years, and I consider her and her family mine. One day I want to be a crazy old lady doing watercolor paintings with her. I refer to the Viking's best friend as his Tina. Clear as mud?]
Also, I do really want to learn to weld.
So, I typed out this paragraph attempting to explain what I meant by undervaluing being a good people. Yes, I am writing ‘a good people’ on purpose. It is wrong, but it is wrong deliberately. I realized after I read the paragraph it was crap. I believe in what I said, but my brain focus is too broken to write a well thought out blog.
I decided to reassert my purpose for the new kids in class. (I am determined to believe I got new readers. Your facts and logic have no power over me.)
I’ve had this blog for awhile now. It started out with a theme thing. I wrote about a theme three days a week for a month then switched. You can go back and look at them, some of them are good, but a lot are kinda awful. Well, I went through a break up with a Juice bag (douche bag) and kind of melted all the way the hell down. I did this very publicly on my blog. It was glorious.
I realized that people responded to my openness. As I moved forward, it became apparent that everyone feels like I do sometimes, but we are all forced to be something different than what we are so we can fit in. I got lucky by being too damn weird to ever fit in, so I decided to throw up my hands and stop trying.
I still do my best to write three days a week. I generally succeed on Tuesdays and Thursdays, but lately my Saturdays have been taken over because everyone I know is having a baby or is getting married, and the fore mentioned Viking. I dig you cats, but I will skip a blog to see him. If you truly loved me, you would understand.
Anyway, sometimes I write good stuff like I did Thursday, but sometimes I write strange things like today. On really bad days, you will get a picture or some utter crap.
My purpose isn’t to always be thoughtful and well written. My purpose is to always be myself. I am trying with everything I am to show you guys me, because I believe everyone deserves to be who they are and be loved for it. It is hard sometimes. Sometimes it is scary as hell. Sometimes I am so bored with myself I become convinced that I will kill my blog. Sometimes I am so ranty and preachy I annoy myself. I hope, though, it is always me.
I have a suspicion Tina will straighten my ass out if I ever start not being me.