I believe in being nice. I do. I believe in examining my emotions and handling them the in the most productive way possible. I don’t believe in using my emotions as a weapon. I believe believe believe these things.
Mother fuckers, sometime I just want to throw a fit.
I know it isn’t productive. I know I should use my words. I want to use my words. I just want to use them loudly and interspersed with a shit-fuck-ton of swear words. I also want to punctuate them with hurled objects.
Sometimes I want to behave badly.
Everyone in awhile I want to call someone an ignorant douche bag for refusal to believe science. Okay, a lot of times I want to call people ignorant douche bags for refusing to believe science. Really, you don’t believe dinosaurs existed? What the fuck do you call those bones. Do you seriously stick your fingers in your ears and say “I’m not listening”? I don’t though. I try so hard to be respectful. I want to believe in civilized discourse and to be zen enough to understand that anyone that willfully ignorant won’t be swayed by anything I said, so I shouldn’t add to the ugliness of the world. I’m trying to be a good people here.
Sometimes I want to say all the mad things in my brain. Every once in awhile I want to tell people they can shove their backhanded comments up their asses. I want to yell at those old ladies who spend ten minutes to pick out old fashioned oatmeal while managing to take up the entire aisle. I want to point out that when someone comments comments about how fat or ugly a woman is when discussing their work, that person is being a misogynistic pig, even if the commenter is a woman. That is unacceptable. Change it. NOW.
Sometimes I don’t want to lay out my point logically. Sometimes I just want to scream. I want to say all of the far flung crazy shit my pissed off brain comes up with. I want to stomp my foot, throw myself on the ground, and bite people. I want to fling a finger out and point out that other people get to be princesses, why can’t I?
I believe in being good and in being kind. I believe in being mature. I don’t think they are bullshit social constraints placed on us by society to control us like some intellectuals do. I believe that higher order emotions and emotional understanding is a natural state for humans. That doesn’t mean I always have to like it.
NEVER HIDE A PMSING WOMAN’S COOKIES