It is a glorious day outside in Oklahoma. I spent the earlier part of the day doing chores and running errands I had intended to spend the afternoon sitting outside writing. My laptop was taking a very long time to charge and update, and I had been up late the night before, so I slipped into a mini-coma instead. I’m out here now, and that’s what matters, right? I might only have 40 minutes of charge on my battery and six mosquito bites, but I am NOT giving up on the idea of sitting outside on this fine fine day. Stubbornness has its perk, but normally it just ends leaving you itchy and mildly annoyed.
Last Saturday, I did have a rare moment of common sense over my stubbornness. I had planned my afternoon in steps; shower, dressed, store, food, and then get ready for my date, but when I was in the shower I was so hungry my hands were shaking. I think common sense kicked in when I was trying switch the disposable heads on my razor but my hands were shaking too bad. I realized I was about to attempt to shave with hands shaking so bad it rendered me incapable of simple tasks. It didn’t seem like a good idea. Mom was amused at me eating a sandwich while I was in my robe with conditioner in my hair. It wasn’t her body in danger of looking like Wolverine attempted to remove her body hair.
A mosquito just bit me in that weird dimple on your ankle where your bones meet. Son of a BITCH… I’m sitting out here until my battery runs out damnit. I might have to turn on some extra programs to help it along.
Okay, so this is where the crazy comes in. (Because everything up to this point has been sane.)
It starts with PMS. I know. Let me give you guys a second to find your shocked faces. I was on the phone with Tina yesterday, aware that I was probably suffering from PMS but unaware the strength of which it was in effect. We were talking, and I said something INSANELY bitchy and crazy. It wasn’t pointed at Tina, which is a blessing, but probably insulted the shit out of her all the same. Since it is Tina, she pointed out to me that I was being hormonal and therefore not rational, and I agreed after a few seconds of thought. She got me talking about my novella which she just read, and we got to discussing the next story, and I was so excited that I forgot all about being nuts.
I hung up with her and immediately started pulling together things for my next story. I was like a Honey Boo Boo all hyped up on the Mountain Dew. This lasted for about three hours, until another wave hit. I suddenly realized what I had said to Tina. I felt like a total douche nougat. I texted her an apology, and started to shift through the rest of my interactions through the day. I never have a problem apologizing to Tina for being an emotional nutbag, but it pisses me off to have to apologize to other people some times. I realized she was my first and only victim and moved on.
Then 45 minutes later, I started crying, about everything. I wanted to call Tina and apologize again. I almost did. I remembered the last big PMS episode with Tina, and how I made her more miserable with apologizing than I did with my original bad behavior. I learned! I adapted! I did not text her again or call her to apologize. Instead, I spent the night crying and talking to the Viking, who I know wanted to be using the cool weather to work on his car but stayed to talk to me because I was a wreck instead, because that is totally more sane. I’m keeping him for as long as I can.
I think I am going to put Tina and the Viking up for sainthood. I can make buttons or something.
(I blame any typos in this post of the effing mosquitoes. They all had a Selina snack. The assholes.)
Geeks a Geeking