Sep 17

Mexican Lung Chupacabras

I went on my vacation with the Viking. It was the best time of my life. I think most people would have to work hard to have a bad time with the same vacation I had. The hotel in New Orleans was wonderful, and the cruise was gorgeous. I think what made it the best time of my life was being with my Viking and remembering parts of me that I’ve forgotten in the past few years of the constant care giving.

He is handsome and he is mine. This was on Cruise Prom Night (the first Elegant Dining night). Everyone packs into the lobby in front of the restaurant and gets stalked by photographers.

I got a sunburn on our very first stop

I'm somewhere out there with a floppy red hat getting sunburned even though I left that luscious water to reapply sunscreen. And, yes, that is my Viking wearing long pants and hiking boots on the beach.. in Jamaica.  I want to make fun, but guess who didn't get a sunburn

I’m somewhere out there with a floppy red hat getting sunburned even though I left that luscious water to reapply sunscreen. And, yes, that is my Viking wearing long pants and hiking boots on the beach.. in Jamaica. I want to make fun, but guess who didn’t get a sunburn

The next day we went to Grand Cayman, and I held a sea turtle at their sea turtle farm. I’m obsessed with sea turtles so getting to hold one and rubbing its neck to calm it down was an amazing experience for me. Note you can see my sunburn from the day before.

Holding a sea turtle on Grand Cayman

You can see me flipping all the way out about talking to the little dude.

The last excursion day was in Mexico. The Viking and I went to the Mayan ruins in Tulum.

They were, once again, stunning.

They were, once again, stunning.

Tulum was one of the most beautiful places on Earth. The beach is ranked one of the most beaches in the world and the ruins were astounding, but it was here I met one of these:

I blame the fucking iguanas.

I blame the fucking iguanas.

The evening after our visit to Mexico, I started feeling sick. I thought it was allergies since we were so near to Louisiana at the time, but I kept getting sicker. I called it the Iguana Flu.

The sinus part of my sickness felt better after a week but my chest stayed wonky. Actually, it was getting worse. I was coughing, my chest was very congested, and it burned when I breathed. Finally, oh, three weeks later, I went to the express care part of our local medical conglomerate. The PA, who was about seventeen years old, was very good and prescribed some strange medicines including Tessalon Pearls (I don’t know if they sound like expensive jewels or sex toys) and cough syrup I have been informed is the main ingredient of ‘purple drank.’

I dragged my sick ass through Wal-Mart while waiting for my medicines and picking up things the family needed. The clinic called me to tell me I didn’t have walking pneumonia. When I got home I had some drama to deal with. At some point in the middle of it I texted the Viking ‘My life is ridiculous. Sane people don’t live this way.’ It was melodramatic, but I have big boobs, and I let him touch them, so he was okay with it. Anyway, I had just figured I would rest as much as I could and take my medicine because the PA seemed pretty not worried about my condition, and I pretty much forgot about it.

This morning, I woke up to a phone call from the clinic. They wanted me to go into see a primary care doctor to the point of nearly insisting I let them set me up an appointment right then (I’m uninsured and that shit is expensive so I said no). They also asked me if I got my new medicine. I stumbled and mumbled something about I got my medicine I left with the night before. Apparently, they called me in MORE medicine this morning, but I didn’t know because I hadn’t checked the voice mail the robo-voice left me from Wal-mart pharmacy. The woman sounded very flustered and concerned. Before she hung up the phone she actually said not to hesitate to got to the emergency room if my symptoms get worse. I assured her I was fine.

I checked my voice mail and found out they had indeed called me in more medicine. As the sleep stupids cleared and my medicine kicked so my brain could work, I got to thinking about what just happened. I have never gotten a call like that the next day from a clinic. I brushed off the order for a follow up visit as standard practice, but then I realized I’d never had a doctor call in more medicines the next day or tell me to not to hesitate to go to the emergency room if I got feeling worse. I had a serious ‘what the fuck’ moment.

I’m left wondering what the hell is wrong with me. My bet is on Iguana lung flukes, but the Viking swears I have Mexican Lung Chupacabras.

At least now I have ALL the drugs.

 

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