Category: Batshit

Benedict SexyPants

I have nothing notable going on. Um, I worked out today to try get rid of cramps and train for the 5k I want to do. I wrote some last night. I plan on writing more tonight. I miss the Viking fiercely, and it’s been less than three weeks since I last saw him. My …

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The Anti-Goal and Other Fabulous Things

Last week I finally finished the Viking’s wonky blanket. It felt wonderful to actually complete something. It felt even more wonderful when I realized he probably really liked it. Random side note: I found these pictures on my phone while I was dealing with the blanket photo. I think they are kind of awesome.   …

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Then My Dog Called Me an Asshole with Her Face

Okay, it might have been almost a month since I wrote a blog last. I have a really good excuse. Mostly my life went insane again. There were hospital stays (not mine), near death experiences (not mine), and small nervous breakdowns (that one is mine.) Everything is fine now, mostly, but it was pretty bad. …

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Merry Imperfect Christmas

ugly presents

Slowly  over the years I’ve taken the reins for my house’s Christmas. My sister hosts the family get together because she and my bro-in-law are amazing, and they breed incredible children, but there are still things my parents and I do. We have our little fiber optic tree, and we have gifts we get and …

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They Should Never Let Me Outside

So, I had to take Dad to the hospital Monday night. He’s fine. While we were there was this little girl who looked like Hermione Granger. I kept staring at her side eye. Even I am socially adept enough to know it is creepy to walk up to an eleven year-old in an ER and …

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Let’s Not Analyze This

Evil Elf on a Shelf

I made this: These things creep me out. I know I have no right to have an opinion on anything having to do with children since I haven’t had one, but these things freak me the fuck out. This isn’t about the children, it is about the creepy damn doll that meant to spy on …

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Winning (the White Trash Drinking League and Foul Language)

I can’t go into detail about this past week because it involves Bionic Mom way too much, and she would not be happy to have details written here for all four of my readers to see. I will say the woman is handling everything like a damn champ, and I am still very proud of …

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My Body

I want to right something super deep and profound. I’m too tired for that, so you cats are get honest. I’m fucking exhausted. The past three days have been comedies in errors. You know those days where every fifteen minutes something goes wrong. Monday I ended up crying about dropping a can of Pringles.  I …

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I’m Not Gay so I can Buy Cookies

Dude, seriously. First and foremost, Bionic Mom is being an effing rock star with her surgery, and  I am so damn proud of her. She hurts. Her leg looks like it got mangled by a wood chipper. By all rights her life is hell. She is the most positive I have seen her. She is …

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I’ll Get Some Rest in February

Five days until my mom gets one of her knees replaced.  Let me say this before I begin: these surgeries (she is getting the other one replaced after Christmas) will change her life. Everyone I talk to about their knee replacement surgeries tell me after it heals, their pain levels disappear. This is a good …

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