I Want to be an Evil Mastermind When I Grow Up

Last night, I started a massive rant than my computer freaked out and I gave it up. I think it was for the best because it is a rant I need to put a bit more thought into. Today, I am in far too good of a mood to rant. It might be the post work out happy chemicals, but whatever.

So, we have a couple of orders of business to get through.

First, next we are having an Oklahoma White Trash Mardi Gras Parade. One car with a trailer hitch has been offered for use. We now need cheap party beads, lots of booze, trash cans to put the booze in, a flat bed trailer, and lawn chairs to put on the flat bed trailer so people can ride in to fling the beads angrily. I have none of this, and I am broke, so I have appointed myself the official OWTMGP  organizer. If you would like to donate any supplies please contact me at selina@templeofthegeekgoddess.com.

(Really, though, if you are in a place that you can donate, donate to these people. My sister is friends with a little girl who would benefit. Here is the news story. Okay, done preaching/begging. Oh, but I don’t suggest donating booze.)

Second order of business: Next week I am going to register for the Redbud Classic 5k. Lynsie has said she would do it with me, so if there any of my Oklahoma people who want to do it with me, I think we should make t-shirts. Just saying, it would be awesome. It is 25 dollars to register but it is FOR THE CHILDREN. If it is just me, I am making a shirt with big bold letters that say “Fat Girl Jogging.”

Third and final order of business: I have decided that I am going to create The Bloggess’s Shiv Wielding Dark Army: Oklahoma Division. Our first order of business will be to get an Oklahoma City stop on The Blogess’s book tour. If we manage that, the second order of business will be to get Lynsie to taxidermy a mouse in a standing position so we can put little curlers in her hair and make a tiny blow dryer and red dress for her. It will be our offering to The Bloggess. I have appointed myself the leader for one term. If you guys are displeased with my leadership you can elect a new leader in six months time but no sooner. Anyone interested in joining should e-mail me at selina@templeofthegeekgoddess.com. If I get any interest I will be making a Facebook page to coordinate our efforts.

Okay, I am off to eat some pineapple and plot some more.

 
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Fat Girl Jogging

So over a month ago I decided to get healthier. I signed up for a website called sparkpeople.com and I started exercising. I alternate between taking my dog for a walk at the park and doing Pilates when the weather is good and doing Leslie Sansome’s Walk Away the Pounds “5 Really Big Miles” (of which I do two) when the weather is bad. Last Wednesday (Wednesday is weigh day) I was down 10 pounds.

Last week I got the idea in my head to do the Red Bud Classic 5k in April. I know I won’t run it and I would probably be the last one across the finish line, but I can’t imagine how cool it would be for me to get across the finish line. I have been having dreams of running lately, not the “AAAHHH machete murder is chasing me” running dream but dreams where I go for runs.

It is glorious outside today, so I clipped the leash on my dog and we went to the part. We walked a half a mile and then we jogged. We didn’t jog far, but we jogged. We walked some more, and then we jogged some more. We alternated walking and jogging for another mile. I walked far more than I jogged, but I fucking jogged.

I can’t remember ever jogging as an adult. I know I looked seriously goofy. I am a big, big girl with a fuzzy wienie dog jogging in these tiny little 1/8th mile bursts. My form sucks, I am awkward with the leash, and my hair was sticking straight up in places, but I jogged, and it was glorious.

Endurance and form will come with time. I will look less goofy. And, I will get less big, I hope.

Part of me feels really silly for being so happy right now, and I know logically part of my happiness is the happy chemicals exercise releases into the brain, but I don’t care, just like I don’t care about how ridiculous I must have looked. One day soon I will run.

I am going to go print off the registration forms for the Redbud Classic 5k.

 
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