I Don’t Think that is How that Goes

I HATE YOUR FUVKING FACE

I might have a had a little bit of an attitude problem today.

By that, I mean I had a tremendous attitude problem today.

I try my best to be upbeat and positive but sometimes I am pretty fail. Today I was gloriously fail. In my defense, I had to talk to people within ten minutes of being up and without coffee.

I *might* be feeling a bit scattered. I spent Sunday night pacing my bedroom floor with sharpies and crayons in my hand between fits of furiously scribbling on paper bag skins and old wrapping paper I had taped to my door. I have about three lists going.

Don’t get me wrong; these things aren’t bad. They just mean I’m busy in my head. I’m a little less flexible when I’m busy in my head. (Also, I might have been a bit high off of sharpie fumes.)

So this morning I wake up to a situation that had the potential to mess with my list and plans. My reaction is

Yep.

I’m pretty sure I sent Tina a text message saying that in all caps. Which leads me to my point in all of this: Tina is a fuvking saint.

I’m a drama queen, but I find myself funny while being a drama queen.

First: holy shit got autocorrected to holy shiv in a text to her one day. I loved it and took it as mine. Today, I was in the super Wal-mart and I sent her a text message with fuvking (I was very angry when I typed it). We are keeping it forever.

She called me to make sure I haven’t eaten any souls, because I was just that bitchy, but by the end of the call we were laughing. She made me feel better about walking through Wal-mart mutter singing Christmas carols with the words changed to include evisceration and annoyance at the impossibly stoned kids standing in front of the chocolate chips.

That’s right. I made violated Christmas carols into some unholy mess about cutting a bitch.

I am much calmer now. Tina is still a saint. I just wish I could remember the words to those awesome songs.

I don’t know that any of this had a point or a moral, other than, we all need a person to help us laugh at our crazy.

Sharpies smell really good.