Too Much

I’ve started a blog three times and never finished it. These past few weeks have been eventful.

Twelve days ago was the anniversary of Dad’s death, and 10 days after that was Father’s Day. I thought I was fine for both. I thought I was going to eat the pecan pie on the seventh in Dad’s memory and miss him, but I wouldn’t ugly cry or anything. I didn’t either until a few days later when I gave Tina his rainbow suspenders I had been keeping in my car for years for her.  She sobbed. I ugly cried. I super ugly cried while holding them before I left. I miss him still. I think that’s probably normal.

I expected to be sad on Father’s Day. I didn’t expect having to flee IHOP because a daughter/father pair next to us mad me miss Dad so much I needed a mini-ugly cry in the Viking’s truck. They looked so purely happy to see each other. I remember that. I really miss that.

Now our country is gleefully rushing towards being the Empire. Kids are in cages, and we are pulling out of the UN. Our president is becoming bros with dictators while pissing on our reliable allies.  I want to scream about having seen this before, but I don’t know it would do any good. I hate that I’m seeing us on the wrong side of history, and the people around me don’t care.  Vote VOTE VOTE. It’s midterms coming up. Vote. Oklahoma has voting coming up soon. VOTE. Right now we are still a Democratic Republic. Use your voice while you still can.