The Saturday before Easter, I reminded of the Viking of the male friend in high school who hit me and choked me until black bled into the edges of my vision. It was so long ago, but I still remember.
I’ve run into since. It was at work. I had to sit there and be polite. I made small talk and pretended he hadn’t marked me so much.
Easter I pulled into an empty parking lot and was preparing to go in when he pulled in. Sometimes you call your ghosts to you. I sat shocked for a second until I decided I didn’t want to be alone with him in the store. I couldn’t pretend I wanted to talk to him, so I would be trapped.
I could have went in and done the polite thing. I could have nodded my head and asked about his life and fantastic wife, (he married a wonderful woman) but I didn’t want to. My thoughts raced plugging in niceties society taught me like never making a scene, grin and bare it, smiling nicely while pretending it never happened, maybe he had changed since it was so long ago, maybe he doesn’t even remember.
I buckled my seat belt and threw my car into reverse. I didn’t owe him politeness or the benefit of the doubt. I owed him nothing.
I owed him nothing.
It might have been a long time ago, and he might be a different man now, I know I’m a different woman. He might not remember it, but I do.
There in that moment the only person I owed anything to was myself.
Geeks a Geeking