Squirrels would make Great Pirates

^ That is inspired from an episode of Dora the Explorer. You can tell I have been at Tina’s house because of the uproariously funny video that I posted very late Thursday/ very early Friday for my Thursday blog but I think only Tina and I thought was uproariously funny. I am going to keep making videos because they make me happy, and when you are a full time eccentric writer and part time garden gnome, making yourself happy is very important.

I have realized a couple of things recently. (I feel like write that sentence a lot. Either I know far less than I should or I think about things I didn’t know too much.)

Kids shows assume small children are entertained by the same things that people on drugs are. Okay, there are some obvious examples of this like Yo Gabba Gabba and The Wiggles, but seriously, all Baby Mozart shows is random objects to music. I worry for this next generation. Also, I still hate the Canadians for exporting their kids shows.

Tina’s three year old wanders through life and is easily distracted by shiny things. Tina was well trained to handle this by a decade of friendship with me.

I am addicted to coffee and I am shockingly okay with this.

I am very busy doing nothing in particular. I am calling it research for writing.

Sometimes you just have to believe. I mean go forth and truly believe without hesitation or qualification. I have spent my entire life with people telling me I was smart and funny and special and I was going to be spectacular when I grew up. I also have had people telling me that I was too weird, not realistic, too big, too awkward, and maybe I should just grow up. I listened to the second set of people even though they were the minority and kind of jerks. Somehow what they said was more plausible than what everyone else told me.

I think I figured people just told me that they were going to be able to say “they knew me when” because they were being nice. It was easier for me to believe that I needed something reasonable to do other than want to write. I always just felt like an ordinary person amongst all of these extraordinary people. (Turns out I am an extraordinary person among extraordinary people.) My life was odd and my view on life was odd. (I mean that in a good way. I have always loved my odd life.) It was just me trying to find my path to something more reasonable. I told someone once that I knew I was going to be famous later in life. He told me that everyone feels that way because no one wants to believe that they will be mediocre.  Screw that.

I have decided to believe, whole heartedly and without hesitation or qualification, that I am something spectacular now that I have grown up. I am going to march into my thirties knowing that I am going to be one of those few people who make it as a writer. I AM going to do amazing things. I am going to listen to those extraordinary people in my life that tell me I am extraordinary.

I am new to this willful belief in something about me. I have only believed this willfully in one other thing, my last relationship, and it imploded in a most spectacular fashion. Which, logically, should mean I learned believing can fail miserably and never do it again. Instead, I have decided to learn that it sucks when things you believe in blow up and it could hurt a lot for a long while, but in the end you live through it and learn lots, and there is something else on the other end.

So.

I am brilliant.

I am funny.

I am going to change the world.

Lets do this shit.