The Zombie Apocalypse

Amy (T) sent me an awesome link with this pic.

So apparently one is coming. I don’t often spend a lot of time thinking about when/if the world as we know it explodes. I know all the cool kids have plans and shit, but I don’t get the same bit of joy in pondering these things like other people do. Tina got Netflix, though, and now we are watching the Discovery Channel’s “The Colony.”

The basic set up of the show is that ten people are set up in this big area simulating L.A. after a virus kills enough people to destroy the normal order of life. The people don’t represent a normal cross section of people that would be thrown together. It is more like a dream team with a doctor and nurse, 2 engineers, 3 guys who can build anything, a marine biologist, a martial arts instructor, and a motherfucking rocket scientist. They are set down in an abandoned warehouse/factory thingy and told to go about trying to survive. The show also throws some actors in to act like marauders and screw with their apple cart. I really enjoy the show.

I figured out that I am completely screwed when the world as we know it ends. I can imagine sitting around with my new band of survivors trying to explain what useful skills I would have in the post apocalyptic world. They would be talking about all of the cool shit they could build and hunt and fish. The circle would come around to me. “Umm… I’m a writer and I have a bit of OCD.” The group would sigh and all secretly plan to kill me and eat me first when the food was gone, orwhen they just wanted barbeque.

I kinda know how to build things. I kinda know how to fish. I know nothing about cars. I am abhorrent at camp out cooking. I  take directions okay and I learn new things well. I am terrified of heights and I hate mornings. I make lists well, I tell stories, and I am well versed in internet memes. I am a pretty big wuss about blood and guts and I sunburn very easily. I have the opposite of a green thumb (red thumb?). I take care of people well but I also have no tolerance for douche bags. I know many things that are useful in the current world but most of those require wi-fi.

Basically, it boils down to that I would be completely screwed if we blow ourselves or get a nasty virus. So for my sake, please play nice with your neighbor countries and wash your damned hands.  Please.

Or, make sure that the internet comes up very quickly.

Link for the CDC Zombie apocalypse page