So I sit here on New Year’s Eve in one of the two t-shirts I own, yoga pants, and flour. Glamorous. My plans include drinking fancy mimosas and writing and, maybe, playing SWOTR. Gorramn my life is exciting.
Truth is, this is how I want it right now. Odd, huh?
Sometimes I go through these extreme gregarious periods where I want to see everyone and meet new people. I want to party and be exciting and feel like a vibrant social butterfly. During those times, a night like tonight would be almost unbearably depressing. I am lucky I am going through one of my “I am the dullest people I know” cycles. I am okay with being vibrant as grey tweed because I am being as productive as I have ever been in my life. I also know I will cycle back into my “Oh Holy Shit, Lets get to know EVERYONE” moods and I will be far less boring.
So, that is why I am down with baking bread into the New Year. Watch out world, I am really setting you ON FIRE. (The bread smells really good at least.)
So, to the actual point of the blog, I will not be making New Years resolutions this year. It’s not that I have something against them. In fact, I think the concept is noble. I think looking at your life and committing to improve it is a great way to encourage personal growth. It doesn’t work out for me.
Last year I did a month of New Year’s resolutions that I needed to make and but I knew I would never keep. Funny thing is that I have incorporated some of those things in my life but not because I decided in January that I should, they just kind of happened. This past year has been my year of life lessons with the common theme of “sister, shit happens the way it is going to happen, deal with it and strive to be happy.”
Truth is, you can’t tell me a damn thing if I am not ready to believe it. I’m stubborn and I believe with ever fiber that I can make things happen if I believe strongly and work hard enough. I will ignore my own mind if it is screaming something that I don’t want to hear. A lot of the time, it is true. If I want something bad enough and I am willing to work hard enough for it, I get it. It is the times that I don’t that really knock me on my ass. It is those times that I grow.
This year has been a series of getting knocked on my ass, freaking out, putting on my big girl panties, and dealing with it. So much of what I thought I wanted this time last year imploded gloriously. Thank God.
So, I am going to think about what would make my life better, but only things I have control over, and be open to those changes. I am not exactly sure how to explain why it is different to say I am going to be open to healthful changes in my life as opposed to I am going to lose so many pounds or stop drinking soda.
I think it is that I move further and grow more when I accept life than I do when I try to control it. By not fighting, I can do more with what I have, and I make less excuses. I have more courage when I stop trying to control and just start doing. I am happier when I accept that things aren’t perfect, that I am not going to have everything the way I want it, but I can focus on what I love and do my best to fix what I can about the rest.
So, I guess by striving to not have a resolution, I made one. This year I resolve to stop fighting so hard, focus on what makes me happy, fix stuff when I can, and try to be happy with the good things everyday.
Oh my god, my garlic Parmesan beer bread is freaking divine.
Geeks a Geeking