I found way to eat yogurt in a manner that displays annoyance. I fucking win at life. Until two minutes ago I was angrily scooping Great Value Light Nonfat Orange Creme pie yogurt into my mouth and crunching the crushed vanilla wafers in a forceful manner then scraping the sides of the little plastic container far harder than necessary.
I might have some rage.
The good thing is I had fun eating my yogurt in an angry and aggressive manner.
I’m angry. I am pretty sure it is the world’s fault. I am growing to loathe politics. Correction, I LOATHE politics right now. I cannot get away from political news though and it is making for the angry. LOOOOAAATHE
I do believe that it is important to be aware of what is going on in your world, but I think that right now turning on the news, watching enough poilitcs to see that they are all still douche bags and the world is going to a flaming dog poop hell and then turning it off.
*Click TV on* Oh look, politicians are still raging corrupt douche noodles. Good to know. *click off*
I have so many political rants and massive rage. You know what, it doesn’t help. Me getting all angry about people who think different than me doing things I think are dumb doesn’t help the world in anyway, and it just hurts my ability to write my book. I need to let it all go, stay informed, and harness my zen.
I should probably avoid drinking nine cups of coffee like I did today. That could be part of my problem.
I am pretty sure that much coffee makes your zen run straight the hell away. I feel like I need to be pacing, smoking furiously, mumbling animatedly to myself, and tugging at my hair, like a female Dennis Leary. I don’t smoke anymore so I have to make due with crunching yogurt.
“How’s the writing going, Selina?” It is not going, that is how it is going. I feel a little like I am flinging myself at a large concrete wall repeatedly, but I am doing it with flair and style.
I want to cuss, repeatedly with zeal and vigor.
Look. I know what the issue is. I am tripping my own self up with stupid stuff. I am back in that I need coddling phase but I am pissed because I need coddling. It is a dirty cycle. It is to the point were I sat down with my mom and told her I need to be neurotic for a bit. I sat down and told her exactly what was going on in my head, what I needed to do about it, and what she needed to say to me. Been here done this. I think this bout will be easier. I think temporary writer insanity is like all other kinds of crazy, you just learn coping skills and you can handle that shit.
I also think I need to lay off of the coffee. Maybe I should replace it with wine…. mmmm Wine.
Okay, I am going to drink a glass of wine and say mean things to my female protaganist, because somehow this is all her fault.
Geeks a Geeking