We need to make up some of these
May I present to you two stories of winning at the internet:
First tale takes place yesterday when I was absolutely giddy with with sleep deprivation. (Yes, I am using that as an excuse for my really bizarre behavior.)
I am still a member of that god awful dating site, even though nothing good has ever come of it. I don’t know if it is a ‘hope springs eternal’ thing or a ‘the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result’ thing. It does lead to awesome stories sometimes.
Anyway, I got a hit from this guy on Tuesday night who seemed like he could be okay, so I started trying to talk to him. It became evident pretty early on that the guy was really not interesting and was just looking for cybersex. I blew him off.
Well, yesterday, in my strange sleep deprived euphoria, I decided to start screwing with him. I started asking him more and more inappropriate questions at an annoyingly fast rate so he was constantly getting e-mails about getting messages. I got to “Have you ever tied a woman to a bed” before he blocked me or quit the site. Either one is a win in my book.
Also, it confirms my suspicion that talking about hardcore kinky stuff early on in interactions with a potential mate is a bad idea. This is good to know if I ever decide to seriously attempt to rectify my ‘terminally single’ status.
I was also kind of amazed with the shit I got away with before he blocked me.
Second tale of winning at the internet belongs to Tina.
I posted a link to a cracked.com story about 5 Ways Modern Men are Trained to Hate Women on my Facebook page. Take a minute to go read it first. It will help you understand the awesome that is about to happen to you.
(I am about to cut and paste directly from Facebook. The spelling, punctuation, and grammar are imperfect BECAUSE IT IS EFFING Facebook. I don’t get all Nazi unless it is unintelligible, and Tina’s rant is clearly written.)
5 Reasons Why Guys Should Stop Using Bullshit Excuses for Their Misogyny and Start Taking Responsibility for Their Own Actions: a Woman’s Response to http://www.cracked.com/
article_19785_5-ways-modern -men-are-trained-to-hate-w omen.html 5. We Were Told That Society Owed Us a Hot Girl
A number of films are specifically sited in the article. Only one of them originated from a story written by a woman (the film used to explain the exception to the rule) and one film (The Matrix) co-written by a woman. With all of the references combined, well over 25 male writers are represented and two female writers. So, really what is being said here is that MEN are teaching MEN that “society” owes them a “hot girl”.4. We’re Trained from Birth to See You as Decoration
Is it odd that the author’s mother or sister or aunt or grandmother are never mentioned here? I mean, “trained from birth” implies being conditioned from the earliest stages of life, all of which are likely to include female influences. I want to have a conversation with the mother who taught her son that women are only decor and should never be respected or loved for anything beyond their appearance. Once again, MEN teach MEN this.3. We Think You’re Conspiring With Our Boners to Ruin Us
Every time I hear the “Eve” reference used to demean the status of women I want to…..lets just say it makes me very angry. But the author didn’t linger here and neither will I. Everyone already knows why this argument is stupid anyway.
But when it comes to a mans inability to control his sexual inhibitions, I have this to say. When a woman lashes out at a man (or anyone, really–we tent to be equal opportunity thrashers) because she is hormonal her statements are viewed as completely irrelevant BECAUSE she is hormonal. There is nothing she can say during this period that her male OR female counterparts will take seriously because EVERYTHING must be a result of her hormones. We are told to take hormones or other treatments that might balance us out. But men can go around masturbating everywhere they please and resenting any admonishment (that one is for you, Kathleen) because it is in their nature to do so? I think not.#2. We Feel Like Manhood Was Stolen from Us at Some Point
This section angers me the most. What am I supposed to say– “I’m sorry you derive your masculinity from being the boss”? It doesn’t even deserve a refute.1. We Feel Powerless
I just SWELL with empathy when white males talk about how powerless they feel. Okay, that was sarcasm, and kind of mean. I’ll try to tone it down a bit. How about this:
WELCOME TO OUR WORLD!
You feel powerless because you can’t stop thinking about boobs? If men are as mentally unstable as they are painted in this article, its really no wonder they are so threatened by us that they have resorted to government control of our reproductive system. Le sigh.
That is how Tina won the internet today.
(My friends are cooler than me, but at least I get to be a part of their awesome.)
3 comments
You guys make me happyface
Tina’s post is awesome. the “masturbate in public” thing was such BS. Men arrested for masturbating in public tend to have something psychologically (or biologically, for those poor souls who after suffering brain injury fall in these spirals) wrong with them, it’s not in their pants, it’s in their brain. Most men with a functioning brain and hormonal system can do just fine in public. I will say though I was glad at least he acknowledged that sexism is going on. I’m so sick of men writing “what are all these American women complaining about? We’re not sexist/there’s very little sexism anymore.” pisses me off.
as for tying people to bed, that’s not hard core kinky stuff, assuming 2 consenting adults. if there’s no qualifier, I guess it could be taken as: have you ever raped/tortured someone?
Also wanted to add, in that guy’s original post he links to the judge who masturbated while in court. you should totally follow that link, that judge is from my husband’s home town in OK and his sister (my sis-in-law) dated that judges son in high school and some in college. And an anecdote to my point above, he (the judge) was messed up.