Required Monthly Corgi
I don’t think it would surprise anyone to find out I was in a rut. It wasn’t a big drama rut, but I had a few months there of feeling the exact opposite of awesome. I was happy (except for that one really bad spell), but I was really down on myself. I think we all have those periods where we feel like we are not nearly all that we should be. The little insecurity demons eat at the corners of our minds, and even when we are happy we don’t feel like we are enough.
What enough is changes by circumstances. I don’t feel like I’m a good enough writer, like I’m writing enough, trying hard enough, like I’m good enough for my dreams. For other people, enough is different, like good enough mother, sexy enough, smart enough, fast enough, or any of billions of other value judgements. Enough is a douchebag. (Also, I wrote it and said it in my head so much, it no longer sounds like a real word. Perfect.)
I struggle with enough. I think we all struggle with enough. I don’t know a single person who feels like we are exactly what we should be. Fuck enough. I’m done with enough. It can kiss my day-glo white ass.
I will spend my life battling enough, but instead of trying to force myself to it’s impossible standards, I’m going to fight the insecurity and self-loathing it inspires in my head.
I AM enough.
On that note, I put up our wonderful tree today. Last year, we bought a little bitty 32 inch fiber optic pre-lit tree. It is not at all traditional and slightly tacky, but it makes me gloriously happy. Every time I see it, I can’t help but grin. It is something small and fun, but also wonderful in it’s own strange right. Add into that I’m working diligently on finishing Christmas gifts, I’m feeling my Grumpy Cat Christmas spirit.
Speaking of Christmas spirit, I almost forgot I made this gem last year.
May your season be merry and bright. And super nerdy sexy
Geeks a Geeking