May 03
Today is Dad’s birthday. This morning Facebook showed me the picture I posted of taking Dad’s dog, Petey, to the nursing home so he could have a piece of forbidden pecan pie with his best friend on the front porch. It made me sad because I realized it was the last time those two were …
Dec 20
Okay, before I launch into this story I need y’all to understand somethings. I’m bat shit crazy, but I’m bat shit in a super loving sort of way, not a ‘cut your ass’ sort of way. I’m generally pretty mellow about most things unless you hurt one of my loved one. I also genuinely believe …
Dec 03
It’s been awhile. Life has been both oddly full and empty at the same time. I had a birthday, took a trip, got sick, and put on Thanksgiving dinner. There might have been a shit ton of Netflix in there somewhere. I’m just going to start writing and see what all comes out. …
Jul 25
Yesterday, I went to my monthly shrink appointment. When he asked me how I was doing, I answered honestly: pretty shitty, you? I reminded him of Dad’s death last month and told him about all the problems I was having. Some days I felt like I was made of panic and loneliness. Some days I …
Jul 19
My mind is all jumbly, and this blog will probably be just as jumbly. Friday, I had my first social outing since my dad died. I mean, we put together a fairly large 4th of July thing at our house, which turned out wonderfully, by the way. I passed my first big hostess test, or …
Jul 09
I’ve spent the day crying on and off about Tina’s dog, Ndugu. Sane people would be totally give me side-eye for being broken up about another person’s dog. More empathic people would say I’m so sad because his passing is so close to my dad’s death and it is mingling with the grief that is …
Jun 22
So, fourteen days after Dad’s death was Father’s Day. When I found out like nine days ago, I was FUCKING PISSED. Jesus, the universe was being a total twat-faced asshole. I mean I knew it was pointless to be mad at the calendar, but some times silly things like rationality are secondary. I decided to …
Jun 13
Normally, I try to come up with a little more creative title than today’s, but it’s the truth. I miss him. I will never smooth back the four hairs on his bald spot, kiss his forehead, and tell him ‘I love you, Old Man.’ You bet your ass I was the only one who got …
Jun 12
I fell asleep during therapy today. My therapist went to the restroom, and in the two minutes she was gone, I fell flat out asleep. I got back to my mom’s house and tried to use her foot bath (you know the awesome jiggly massage tubs of warm heaven) from like 1987, and the fucker …
Jun 11
My father died Sunday, June 7th. He was in a hospice care center, and for the rest of my life I will be a big advocate of hospice. I will also fight to make the topic of death no longer taboo. My family has always very openly talked about death, and it really helped when …
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