I Can Never Unsend That

The PMS Shame Spiral

A good illustration of my crazy

Every woman on earth knows the PMS Shame Spiral. We overreact or otherwise behave badly while we are pmsing, and, before we know it we are sucked into a vortex of crazy. We jump from one reaction to another knowing full well the entire time we are behaving irrationally, because our emotionally rational selves are banging on the glass walls of the hormone powered box they are trapped in. We can’t stop. We throw out our arms, dig in our nails, and lean back, but we continue bouncing from one reaction to another.

I’m not saying we are wrong to react. The biggest problem with the PMS Shame Spiral is normally the thing that sets it in motion is a viable thing to react to, but we see the magnitude of our reaction is askew. By the end of it we feel like such a big box of crazy that we can’t make heads or tails of it.

My Big Box of Crazy:

Wednesday night, I had one of the most incredible dates in the history of dating. I was supposed to have another one tonight (I haven’t slept yet so it is still Thursday), but the Viking had an emergency at work and had to cancel.

Sane, not on the first day of her period, Selina would have been really disappointed but still happy because she was with her BFF and going to have a great time. I would have understood that things like this happen all of the time, and work can be an asshole. I would have been sympathetic to him, and I would have recovered fabulously.

Unfortunately, this didn’t happen to that me, it happened to the whack ton of hormone crazy me. I was devastated and annoyed, because I had already shaved my legs.  Oh sweet mother, I pouted. I was flew into full force pouty princess mode. It was embarrassingly bad. Poor Tina. Me and her two year old threw the fits of the century. In my defense though, I just moped and sighed and acted emo, the kid threw stuff and screamed.

During the height of the pouting, I was being super insecure about something, and instead of thinking it through, I sent a terrible pouty text message. About ten minutes later, I realized I sent a jackass text message to the person dealing with a crap storm, and I couldn’t unsend it. So, I had to send another text message explain that I was a juicebag.

Yeah

Then I realized I had been pouting like a gorramn 2 year old and making Tina’s life miserable instead of realizing it could still be a great night. Tina had asked me for a favor earlier in the height of the emo fit, and I told her no without even thinking of it. This woman has done nothing but bend over backwards to be great, and I was too self involved to do one stupid thing. Even if I hadn’t been in the middle of a PMS Shame Spiral, I would have felt terrible when I realized what I did, but with the crazy filter broken all to shit, the Spiral deepened.

I spent the rest of the night apologizing and moaning about how bad of a friend I am. So, Tina, who has her own shit going on, had to deal with not only the pouting but also me freaking out and feeling guilty. Because she has the patience of a goddamn saint, she didnt smack me.

Then at midnight I was brushing my teeth, feeling like the biggest juice bag on the planet for being an emotional wreck, and it suddenly struck me what was happening. The fantastic thing about Tina is when I walked back into the other room and started with ‘So, this is why it is okay that I am crazy,’ she started laughing, and we made fun of how big of a nut job I am.

That silly, silly vagina tax.