I Got Nothing

How I aim to live my life

The past several days have been a complete loss for me. Ihave done stuff, but mosty, the stuff I did just interrupted the sleeps I had.

I got home from Tina’s house and turned into a cat. It has been sort of glorious. Hell, if I didn’t have to cook dinner after I wrote this, I would take another nap, because I fracking can.  I didn’t write Saturday because I wrote on Friday, and because I was busy with napping and the craziness of a three year old’s first dance recital. I amazed at how much work Tina put into making her daughter’s recital amazing. If I ever breed, my poor kids are going to be so neglected compared to that. I am not woman enough for that. Mostly, I just chilled with little dood, and he got me addicted to The Last Airbender. (I so needed something else geeky.)

So, I find myself without much to say. I wish people would stop yelling at each other on the internet, and take more time listening and less time judging. If I ever spawn a critter of my own, I am going to rename the internet into “Mommy’s Daily Dose of  New Ways I am Fucking Up My Children” machine.

Oh, speaking of mommies… My mom and I share a mad love of The Hunger Games and disgust for modern politics. We were discussing how politics weren’t news but more like a reality game show like “Survivor.” We ended up discussing what would have happened had the Republican Primaries had been decided in the arena like The Hunger Games.

Here is what we came up with:

Michele Bachmann, Mit Romney, and Newty Boy would have ganged up as the Career tributes.

Ron Paul would have ran out to chill in some trees and watch folk kill each other.

Herman Cain would be a deadly damn assassin, moving slowly and picking off the other candidates.

Rick Perry would have been Cain’s first victim. While Perry was busy fixing his hair talking to the cameras, Cain would have totally snuck up behind him and snapped his neck.

Rick Santorum would go off on his own. He would meet his end when he charged the Careers with a sword yelling jumbled scripture and took out Newt. Michele Bachmann and Romney would kill him promptly afterward.

Cain would try to set a trap for Romney and Bachmann. He would kill Romney but Bachmann would kill him by ripping out his jugular with her teeth.

Everyone would have forgotten about Ron Paul Flying around in the trees.  I can’t even imagine a showdown between Bachmann and Paul. I think it would be more likely that she would accidentally kill herself while trying to get to him in the trees, like accidentally gnaw a tree down on herself. That woman had crazy eyes. CRAZY EYES.

Okay, I think I am done offending everyone and getting myself on even more watch lists.

gnaw gnaw gnaw