A How-To Manual on Women

This is a quickie for the day. I attending a barbeque and don’t have much time. I love you cats, but someone is offering to feed me food cooked on an open flame. Food AND fire, that is a guaranteed good time.

So I am thinking about starting a new section on my site where I add helpful tips for men on how to survive the women in their lives. I have a unique perspective on this because of so many years being “one of the guys,” and I think it would be a great service to the world if I shared little pearls of wisdom with the less women savvy members of the male species.

Here are a few examples:

We aren’t like you. It doesn’t make us crazy or irrational, just different. If we can adjust our thinking to include you guys, you can do the same.

Tell us we are pretty, or some variation thereof. Always, everyday, especially if we look like we put effort into making ourselves pretty for you.

Don’t call your woman bro, dude, buddy, or anything else you might call your male friends. We serve different functions than your doods, and should be addressed differently. You don’t want us treating you like we would our bffs. Trust me.

Yes, we are going to over analyze everything, especially in the beginning. That is how women work. Yes, it will drive us insane. It is because we care. If we aren’t analyzing every little thing, then we don’t give a shit about you. If you are looking for a quick bang it is one thing, but if you want a relationship, it is good to have to reassure your woman. Suck it up and do it.

Don’t expect us to know what is going on with you, especially in the beginning. We can’t read your mind, anymore than you can read ours. If you are stressed out, you act funny. Many women will take that acting funny to mean there is something wrong. If you tell us it is work, family, your dog, or whatever, we will understand. It is much easier to explain that then to deal with hurt feeling and pissed offness.

That is what I have so far, and I need to go get dressed for my meat cooked over an open flame, and, you know, seeing my friends.