I’ve been sick since a little after Christmas. I know, I know, I’m Typhoid Mary. We’ve covered this already.
I will get to feeling better with plenty of rest, but once I do, I find myself having to do something big and strenuous. (I have no regrets about getting sick because I went out on NYE with the Viking. He was worth being sick for.) I would probably get better quicker if I had antibiotics, but no medical insurance. You pick up what I’m putting down?
Anyway, I have been good about resting so when I had a few errands to run earlier today it was no big deal. They were simple, easy errands. You see where this is going, right?
I started getting a bit frustrated when CVS told me they would take two hours to fill my mom’s prescription, but I tried being zen about it. I didn’t jump out of my car and start kicking the car in the drive-thru (the only case where thru is acceptable over through) next to me when the old dood start pointing at me and yelled at me with an angry face. I went through the shorter lane since I was just dropping off. Old dood did not approve. I did not get in a fight with old dood.
Believe it or not I was trying really hard not to be a douche bag.
Next errand: Braum’s for groceries. Halfway through the parking lot, my underoos try to make an escape, and I’m wearing a skirt. (I am never buying that type of underwear again. They have been nothing but trouble.) I have to make the split second decision to try and pull them up, let them fall all the way down and walk away like nothing happened, or walk strange to keep them up with my legs. I walk strange.
So, I’m in the store trying very hard not to lose my knickers. This takes a lot of effort, but I am still trying very hard not to be a douche bag. The woman in front of me at the check out asks where something is, and then leaves her basket to grab a few more things. There is a line behind me, but I’m trying really hard not to be a douche bag so I ask if it was my turn. I didn’t know the protocol. The cashier looked at his line and started ringing me up.
When we were half way done the woman in front of me came back and started giving me the stink eye. The woman behind me offered to let her go first and they made some comments about her being there first. I really wanted to yell,” I asked, okay? I’m not trying to be rude, and MY PANTIES ARE ESCAPING DOWN MY LEGS. STOP JUDGING ME.”
I didn’t though.
The rest of the trip was calamitous but not worth mentioning.
I go back out two hours later. I need stamps and drugs. That’s it. In theory, CVS has them both. (Oh, yeah, the highlight of my day is I see my friend Jennifer. I digress.) I wait ten minutes in the back pharmacy counter and find out I can’t buy stamps back there and I can’t pay for the prescription up front.
By this time, I feel like hell. My chest and sinuses feel like they have been scraped and filled with lava. I’m tired, and nothing has gone like it should.
I almost started crying in CVS. I don’t know if that seems as pathetic to you guys, but I felt pathetic having to repeat “I will not cry in CVS” over and over in my head.
The awesome thing, though, is that the entire time I’m going through this, including my crying fit when I get home, I knew it was funny as hell in a twisted way. I couldn’t wait to get home to tell you guys about it.
You know you’ve had an awesome day when you come in from he grocery store with your panties on one of the bags and you had work really hard not to cry in the drug store.
Geeks a Geeking