Why We Come in Pairs

Well, not necessarily pairs, but in groups…

Last week, I kind of stopped writing… everything. Last week was one of those weeks that it took everything I had to keep breathing.

This has been a stressful year. It just has been.

I know everything will be okay. I know I can handle it. Sometimes it seems too much.

Life is like that, though, sometimes. It builds and builds until  you are sure you are going to break. Sometimes it takes everything you have just to hold your molecules together. You feel like if you let go for just one second you will fly apart.

This is why people come in groups. This is why we have families, whether they are families we are born into or ones we make. Sometimes, you can only hold things together for so long. Sometimes you can only be strong for so long.

Today, I’m flying apart. It has been awhile coming, and it is time, and it is okay. Life is full of patterns and cycles. I know this one. This is the point where I break and cry. I dissolve for just a little bit. Then I pull back together.

And it’s okay, and everyone does it. It is why we come in groups, so when we fly apart into our tiniest bits there is someone there. Sometimes it is your parents or friends or mate, and sometimes it is a random person on the internet who knows what you’ve been through. Sometimes it is your dog. This is why we love and are built to connect. This is why, if we are brave and lucky, we show our most vulnerable selves to another living being and receive love for who we are at that core.

Make no mistake: you are worthy of love for who you are at your most vulnerable core. The bitch of the thing is being willing to show that core and to give and receive love.

So we dissolve for a bit then we pull our atoms back together. It is hard not to feel weak or broken, but we aren’t, and we aren’t alone.

I don’t know. I know I’m not making a whole lot of sense. It’s okay, because you guys know what I’m talking about. That is the beautiful thing.