So Today at the Super Wal-mart

Let me start out by saying that this morning I had a dream about the wal-mart.  I have wal-mart dreams a lot but it seemed funny that it happened on a day I was not only going to wal-mart but also writing about it.

In my dream I was in the cosmetics aisle and I noticed a woman with beautiful brown eyes and I commented on them and we got to talking. I realized that I was talking to Penelope Cruz.  She seemed to miss my few seconds of  “wtf is Penelope Cruz doing in wal-mart in Chickasha, OK” and kept on talking about her relationship stuff. Well, Penelope kept following me around through out the store and when we checked out she asked me if I would show her the library where I used to work. By this time I was pretty weirded out that Penelope-freaking-Cruz was kind of stalking me but I agreed. When I pulled out and started to make my way to the library I realized she was driving a Honda civic and pulling a horse trailer. Even in my dream I was confused as to why Penelope-freaking-Cruz was driving a Honda civic and how the hell was she pulling a horse trailer with it. I was also a bit impressed. When we got to the library things started to get weird.

So back to the realish world, we had a blizzard in Oklahoma on Tuesday. Most people in Oklahoma have no freaking clue how to drive on really bad ice roads. Only a few of us are willing to admit this failing and stay off the damned roads. Anyway, today was the first day since then that the roads seemed safe to be out in, so, of course, my dad and I went to the super wal-mart. We needed food and I needed some alka-seltzer for this damned flu. So we get to the parking lot and the place was freaking packed.

Keep in mind that the super wal-mart in Chickasha attracts people from all the surrounding tiny ass towns and those people who live “out in the county”  so it has a decent sized customer base. A large proportion of the customers at any point in time are pretty red neck and are easily dazzled by modern society and sparkly things.  My family refers to these people as “Rush Springs people” because there is a tiny town about twenty minutes from our town called Rush Springs. Rush Springs is filled with some pretty red neck in-bred folk. I used to help with a girl scout troop there and I saw first hand the effects of cousin marriage. Anyway, anytime we go to the super wal-mart and it is filled with hicks we call it “Rush Springs Day.” Today was “Rush Springs Day” on ice.

The red necks were out in force all bundled up and in my way. I don’t like being in wal-mart. I don’t feel that a trip to wal-mart is ever exciting. I want to get my stuff and get the heck out. This is double when I am sick and hurting a bit from falling on the ice (that story in a minute) and cold. So, lets just say I had very little patience for the woman blocking up one half of the aisle staring at the rice and texting while her dirty, snotty-faced child takes up the other half by staring into space. I wanted to tell her kid to get out of my way but I know that she would have said something rude and I am trying to save money to go to Florida so I can’t afford bail. Somehow I got everything we needed and we got out of there.

My dad had seen me fall earlier (it was pretty glorious, more on that later) so he had dropped me off in front of the store so I didn’t have to try and walk on the ice in the parking lot.  After we shopped he loaded the groceries into the truck by himself so I could spend little time on the ice. After he had gotten into the truck, we both noticed a girl in her early twenties trying to push and drag her cart to her car through the nasty mix of ice and slush. Dad got out and helped her get her stuff to her cart.  He is a pretty good man.

So the fall. I was walking out to the truck and I thought I was doing the careful duck ice walk I do but I wasn’t being careful enough. My left foot slid out from under me and I fell to my hip. What was awesome about it is that I kept sliding. I traveled about a foot on my hip. I am a little sore but no serious damage done. I am just not meant for winter ice.

So even funnier story about the fall:

We were at the check out and my boyfriend called me. This is how part of the conversation went:

Me: I have already fallen on the ice

BF: Oh no! Are you okay?

Me: Yeah, I just fell no big deal.

BF: Are you sure you are okay?

Me: Yeah, I am just being whiny.

BF: I’m sorry you fell

Me: it really isn’t that big of a deal I am just being whiny

BF is quiet for two beats then start laughing

BF: HAHAHA You fell on the ice!

Me: You jerk.

Its moments like those that help me see that I can be happy with him for the rest of my life. I can totally love a man that genuinely cares that I am okay then laughs at me for falling. Its what I would do.

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