Its Time for December!

Decembers theme is going to be: Cataclysm, the newest expansion to World of Warcraft. It goes live December 7th and so much has happened that I should have plenty to talk about. This month should be a good month to write some blogs. If you read this blog and don’t play WoW, I promise I will try to bring some of my normal humor in explaining the geektastic stuff that goes on in the game so you can enjoy making fun of it as much as I do. A good way to get a good understanding of the game is to watch The Guild. I totally have a girl crush on Felicia Day and it is funny as hell.

Anyway today I am going to break down some common game things that are integral to understand this month’s spew of blogs. I will have these throughout the month I’m sure, and leave a comment if you need me to explain something that I have talked about.

The World of WoW:

Azeroth (the old world):

The original zones that started the game. There are two continents: Eastern Kingdoms and Kalimdor. Before Cataclysm these zones stayed predominately the same and everyone has quested the same quests for years. Aside from using major cities for basics like auction houses to sell our fake shit for fake currency to other players, mostly the old world was kind of abandoned.  You would create a character, level 1-58 through the old world as quickly as possible to move on to the next area. Well this changes with this xpac (expansion pack). (This is also known as Azeroth.)

Outlands:

This is the new parts of the world that came with the first xpac: The Burning Crusade (or BC). Blizzard (the company that produces Warcraft) linked the old world to another area through a magic portal. There is some pretty awesome lore involved with the dark portal but I am going to assume that if anyone cared about lore they would know about it. (Unless its a bit of lore I really really like, then I am going to write about it because this is my blog damnit.) This zone got you 58-68. They also added the home lands of the draenei and the blood elves. The draenei basically crashed their ship into Azeroth and took up residence. Think of them like Alf but they don’t eat cats. I don’t know much about the blood elves except they are pretty and evil. They can’t get power from nature like normal elves so they have to kill shit to get power. Like I said, pretty and evil. Never trust pretty people. The addition of the blood elves also brought an influx of fifteen year old boys to the Horde side. They were all on the Alliance side playing other pretty races.

Northrend:

This is the lands added on with Wrath of the Lich King or Wrath or WotLK. Its basically a big frozen island floating way up north that Arthas, the Lich King used to set up shop with his armies of undead and fun plague stuff. Wrath is steeped in awesome lore that I will probably explain at some point, just not today.  This is actually the xpac that got me interested in lore. I had refused to like lore before now because that would somehow make me too big of a geek. I love how well I can delude myself.  Anyway, as of right now Northrend is for leveling from 68-80. I am sure this will change in Cataclysm.

The Shattering:

Okay so in the World of Warcraft they have what they call dragon flights, which is basically just different colors of dragons. Each dragon flight is responsible for separate things about the world and they were supposedly meant to work together to care for Azeroth. Well the leader of the black dragon flight, who later became known as Deathwing, went bug fuck crazy and started tearing shit up. A lot of really dramatic things happen and the other dragon flights are finally able to subdue Deathwing and he goes to the elemental plane. He hangs out quietly for a very long time and people kind of go about their lives. Well, because he is a dragon and evil, he gets some followers to start putting him back together. (Watch the cinematic, I will link it at the end of this.) After he gets all metal plated, he bursts through the elemental plane back onto Azeroth and breaks the entire freaking world.

This is where the World of Warcraft is currently today. Deathwing is back and has broke a ton of shit and changed the world forever in what Blizzard calls the Shattering. This is what I am going to be writing about in depth on Saturday before the release of Cataclysm. Cataclysm goes live on 12:01 am Pacific time December 7th, which means 2 am Tuesday morning Central time I am going to be up geekgasming. Next Monday millions of geeks across the country will be sleeping all day long so they can be up the very second the new xpac comes live. I am not ashamed that I will be one of them!

Cataclysm Cinematic