Lessons in Awesome

As anyone who has read more than a few of my blogs knows, I have a slightly different take on the world. If you don’t know what I am talking about go read my post on kids shows. I forget this on occasion until days like yesterday remind me.

I am playing a new game called Rift. It is a pretty cool game, I just don’t have the friends in the game that I did in World of Warcraft, so I spend most of my time in game playing by myself and not talking to anyone. In the game you run around talking to these computer run characters and they give you little missions or quests. This questing is part of the way you get to the maximum level so you can start doing torturous things like gearing up and raiding.

Yesterday I was all hopped up on caffeine after not having any on Sunday and questing like a mad woman. I was questing in a place called Iron Pine Peak which is this pretty mountainous area with snow and plenty of bad creatures wanting to eat your face. I began to think about how the conversation between myself and the computer run characters (Non-Playable Characters, or NPCs) would really be if I was somehow a hot little humanoid with purple hair and cool tattoos that could use my hand like a flame thrower. This is how it went:

NPC: So I need you to get on that road right there and turn left. Be careful because there are wolfman beasts that want to kill you on the side of the road. Anyway, just a little up the road is a place that has caves/secret creepy laboratories on both sides. You will know you are there because the wolfman beasts are directly on the road. Anyway, I want you to go into the left creepy cave/secret laboratory and break some of their shit and kill this one guy. Then I need you to go to the right cave/secret laboratory and  steal some stuff, let some folks out of cages that apparently do not have locks but the prisoners just do not know to reach through the bars and free themselves. While you are there I also need you to kill this one chick. Oh, one more thing, the caves are full of the wolfman beasts and crazed angry people in far too little clothing and stupid hats. Can you do that for me?

Me: What do I get for doing all of this?

NPC: A tiny bit of money, some experience, and a piece of crap that you do not need and will take up space in those bags you are somehow carrying but that dude over there might buy it off of you because he like to buy useless stuff.

Me: Sweet action! Count me in!

(Later at a different groups of NPCs in front of a different set of creepy caves filled with crazed people wearing far too little clothing and stupid hats but no wolfman beasts.)

NPC: Hey, I need you to go to that cave, spend ten minutes killing everything in it, and grab this thing off the ground, and bring it back to me.

Me: Will do!

(Twenty minutes later after killing everything in that cave and two more exactly like it, the first NPC has another quest for me.)

NPC: You know that cave I sent you to and made you kill everything so you can pick up that thing for me? Well I need another thing from the back of that cave. Can you get it for me? Oh yeah, everything you killed before is alive again so you are going to have to kill everything all over again.

Me: You are such an ass.

Yep, this is the stuff I sometimes think about while left to my own devices. I shared this with my guild (a merry band of fellow online gamers) and I think I scared them a bit.

Okay, so I ran out of coffee on Sunday. I was also almost out of Splenda so I could not make tea unless I used sugar. Sunday I refused to do that so I went the day without caffeine. Yesterday I gave in and made some tea. I got pretty hyped up on the caffeine and sugar. Anyway, I needed a wal-mart run but it is only slightly cooler than the surface of the sun outside during the day so I decided to wait until last night. I got there at about 10:30 pm and had one of the most pleasant wal-mart experiences in awhile.

I was looking at the coffee and decided to browse a bit since I was practically alone in the store. I like wimpy flavored coffee and the stuff I normally buy is fairly expensive. I decided to look for a different brand in order to be a bit more fiscally responsible. I found a new brand that was three dollars cheaper for the same size bag. I bought it and was proud of myself for trying to be a better person. This morning when I looked at it I realized it was cheaper because it was whole beans. Since I do not have a coffee grinder, I spent some time this morning grinding a bag of coffee with a hand blender. Some of it is a fine powder, some of it is almost whole beans. The coffee tastes fine, I just happened to learn a lesson about smug self satisfaction about trying to be more grown up.

I love being me. (That is not actually sarcasm. I do actually love being me.)