It is 8:33 at night and I have no clue what to write. Let me rephrase that: I have ideas about what I should write but I have dismissed them. There is the ever present “why right now has the potential to change the the fundamentals of American history” but I am not feeling as fiery brimstone pulpit about that right now. I could write about recent self discoveries, but, honestly, none of them are that big or interesting. I could flip out about the credit down grade. I could pick out something from pop culture right now and make fun of it. Jersey Shore is one of the big headlines on msn.com today. My snark glands are feeling kind of empty. I am just feeling content right now.
So whenever I sit down and write I do a lot of thinking about what I should write and toss out ideas as they pop into my head. I ask myself things like “is that too cheesy and pollyanna?” or “have I bitched about that a lot lately?” because I know I tend to be very bright side of things type person. I am feeling very bright side right now. I also know when something is making me miserable or pissing me off, I am like a lion with a thorn in its paw. Tina pointed out to me that my writing has been very centered on the heat lately. She told me my writing was still good (probably because she was afraid of me going nuts from heat insanity) but it would be awesome when I got my air conditioner in today because my writing scope would widen back out. Well, the reason I am so bright side right now is because I finally have an air conditioner in my room. For the first time all summer, I can sit at my computer and write and be comfortable. I am sitting in a chilled room with a comfortable bed, my computer desk, and my books. I am incredibly content right now. Tonight I will be able to sleep with covers on. I know that these thing having such a great effect on me makes me a bit silly and simple but I am happy. After my brain re-engages, I can get back to writing like a crazy person because being too hot to write bugged me. My life is good.
I know we are verging on a major political crisis right now. I know the credit downgrade could potentially rain hellfire and destruction on our economy. I know there are enumerable amounts of bad things going on right now in the world. I know in the grand scheme of things my air conditioner does nothing but help destroy the earth. All of that is true. I can’t do anything about the politics right now that I haven’t done. I stay informed and I think about them. I vote and sometimes I go apeshit and I write about them. My honest belief is that if people chill the hell out and take a page from Douglas Adams’ Hitchhikers’s Guide to the Galaxy and don’t panic (and bring a towel) this current economic crisis is weather-able. I don’t agree with George Wills on many things but I do agree with him when he talks about how the economy and stock market are effected by psychology and perception. I feel like I have tried to look at the world as honestly as I can and I am not ignoring the bad. There is just nothing I can fix right now.
So, I am making the decision to be happy. I am going to enjoy my cool contentment and be excited for when I can dive back into writing. It might not be profound, or even interesting reading, but it is nice way to be.
Geeks a Geeking